The One About The Scary Clown

For those of you who were lucky enough to avoid me last week, I have a new obsession. His name is Dominic, the Scary Birthday Clown, and parents are paying him to terrorize their children. No, seriously. I’m not making this up. Parents pay the guy to send their rug rats threatening texts and prank phone calls for a week before he nails the kid in the face with a pie. I know, right? Therapists, start your billing. This should be good for at least a 5-series Beemer. I thought the discovery was a seriously good score, like, make-yourself-feel-way-superior kind of score. I’ll be the first to admit I’d be a dreadful parent, but even I know this is not a good idea. So, naturally, I showed everyone I could corner. My coworkers were all, “Yeah, yeah, Rom, we get it. We’d also...