The One About the Bio

So my long-suffering agent asked for a bio. This is probably to be expected and any normal person would just dash off a few lines about this and that and be done with it. But when have I ever been normal? What should have taken two minutes ended up taking two hours. Part of it is because I’m off my meds and flying so high you could smack my ass like a piñata. The rest is just general neuroses. I had no idea what to write so I did what I always do when I’m feeling especially ignorant (read: all the time): I Googled it. And Google had lots of answers. I’m just not sure any of it was useful…much less applicable. Some sites suggested using buzzwords like, “professional.” Except that won’t work. I’m the farthest thing from professional. I once hid a California Roll in a boss’s...